Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 341
(5/21/01 6:24 am)
Well, here I was sitting in my recliner in my long flannel nightgown, minding my own business, as usual, and I hear this knock on the front door so I get up and open it and there stands this man and woman. I'd never seen them before in my life. She jerked open the door and they pushed their way into my house. I said, "Who are you? Don't kill me!! Don't kill me" and unfortunately, they didn't. She picked me up and threw me in my recliner and he took a big roll of clothesline rope and tied me in it then they threw the recliner on top of their van. I yelled and screamed for VooDooMan to help me but evidently he was out in his garage working on new totem poles and Dewey was watching out the window but he just waved bye bye. They secured the recliner to the van, crawled in it and off we went. I could tell these people was Yankee's by the funny way they talked. I mean, here in Indiana, we're Yankees too but we tend to have some hillbilly talk and ways to us even if we are big cityfied. Before we even got out of Indianapolis, it started raining. Big pellets of hail blowing in my face, my pretty hairdo all limp and soggy. I kept stomping on the van roof so this woman opens up her window and keeps flicking a bull whip at me. They didn't have me tied in so tight that I couldn't dodge it though. She didn't have a very good aim anyhow. Well, we're going down the road in the middle of a storm and I kept rocking myself to sleep in the rocker/recliner and my head would fall back and my mouth would fall open and fill up with rain water. I almost drowned myself accidently. Had to give myself mouth to mouth resuscitation 93 times before we got there. I woke up and we were going into Batesville, Indiana and the old woman yells out the window and asks me if I want something to eat and I figured I could get help from somebody if we pulled over, so I said I was kind of hungry. They untied me and let me get off of the van and we went into this big old house looking restaurant called Bates Motel and Restaurant. We got a waiter named Norman. His Mama was the cook there. She looked a lot like him. I once again asked who they were and the woman told me she was Aunt Buddee from the TreeHouse and the man was her husband, Michael and they were taking me to KimmieBoomBoom's house in Hillbilly Heaven. I asked where that was and she said it was in Happy Holler, Kentucky. Well, Norman comes up and takes our order for us. He was a nice guy but kind of shy. I felt chills run up and down my spine when I looked at him so I knew I was in love again. I said, "What's on the menu, Norman?" and he said, "Fish". I said, "What kind of fish, Norman?" and he said, "The kind I grow in the bathtub and stab". The man, Michael, says, "We'll have three orders of that". I said I wanted a BLT but Norman said all they had was dead fish. Mama cooked us up some dead fish and put some fat french fries on the plate and called them chips. It was good and I gobbled the whole thing down. Well, I figured when Norman came back to get the money for the check, I'd signal him that I needed help but Norman didn't come back right then and the man grabbed me by one arm and the woman grabbed me by the other arm and hustled me out of there without even paying that nice man for the food and off we went again. They took pity on me and let me ride inside the van this time. We whizzed past a bunch of towns and into a place called Ohio. It was down by the Ohio River. We went through this one town and saw Drew Carey and a bunch of people waving at us so Aunt Buddee said, "Now wave back" and I was still afraid of her so I waved back and tried to signal I needed help. Aunt Buddee caught me and held all of my fingers down except the middle one so he didn't come over to rescue me. Now this Aunt Buddee has fingernails two miles long. They drug on the highway everytime she stuck her hand out the window. She was knitting on a baby afghan using them. Michael looked like he might not be the bad type so I thought maybe he could be persuaded to change his mind about kidnapping me but he was busy concentrating on his flying. First time I ever rode in a van going 430 mph. Aunt Buddee kept poking him with her long nails and telling him to pull over and let her drive but he just kept going and every once in awhile he'd turn around and go, "hee hee hee" and step on the gas pedal again. It took us an hour and 15 minutes to get from Indianapolis to Lexington, Kentucky. Well, he was going so fast and the roads were going up and down and curving around in u-turns and I was thinking I was on a roller coaster so I kept throwing my arms up and screaming so they tied me back on top of the van. Off we went again. Up, down, round and round. I was getting dizzy and seasick every time I looked over the edge of the road. Big drop off's going straight down to H*ll. You could see little tiny dots of light. Aunt Buddee said they were houses. I screamed so loud they finally let me back in the van again. There it was getting dark and we didn't know how we were supposed to get there because all they had was KimmieBoomBoom's directions to follow. Up, up, up we went and then we went up higher. Higher and higher, darker and darker and more scarey. We finally found a little town and this guy was walking down the street so Aunt Buddee said, "Pull over, dear, and I'll ask him for the directions". They kept calling each other dear and honey and sweetheart so I knew they weren't married. He whipped over and stopped and she rolled down her windows and asked where KimmieBoomBoom's road we couldn't find was and he said, "Ywoehe shesn blaewa Jack's Road?" I couldn't understand him but Aunt Buddee did so we turned around and went back about a mile and found it. Well, when it gets dark in the mountains, it gets dark in the mountains because there's so many trees that the moon can't shine through them. I wished I had some moonshine about then. We ran out of KimmieBoomBoom's directions and pulled up to this house. A guy came out and said she lived down the road, third house on the left, so we headed on down to the third house and we could see it sitting down there but couldn't find a driveway so Aunt Buddee says, "I'll call her on my cell phone and have her come and get us" so she calls and she's yelling, "Help! Come and get us. We're lost!" and this woman walked up and knocked on the side of the van and said, "Get out of that van you dumb city slickers. You're only five feet from the front door". Well, me and Michael and Aunt Buddee walked into the house. I heard Aunt Buddee whisper to Michael, "Something is wrong here. Look at these people. Their legs are the same length and they talk just like we do!" Michael said, "Yeah, I noticed that too. These can't be ridge runners". Me and Michael hid behind her and she says to this woman, "You are KimmieBoomBoom, aren't you?" The woman said, "No. I'm PaulaPA and this is my sister, Sandy". Now this woman is sitting there with a shotgun in front of her laying on the table so I scootched a little bit closer behind Aunt Buddee and Aunt Buddee says, "Where's KBB?" Paula PA said, "They aren't here. Me and my sister own this place. We got here and nobody was here so we're homesteading. It's ours now". I said to Michael, "You see what kind of deep doo doo you got me into" and he said it was all Aunt Buddee's fault. If she wasn't on the computer so much she wouldn't know these people and want to go there to start with. I agreed. Sandy said we may as well sit down and rest since we drove that far. She was real sweet to us. Said we were welcome to stay in her new house if we wanted to. Paula PA had the shotgun aimed right at us so we sat down in a hurry. She said to Aunt Buddee, "Now when Maw and Paw Kettle and their son, Lil Abner, gets back, don't you go telling them we stole their house and their land from them" (Maw and Pa Kettle are known to some people as KBB and Ozark and Lil Abner is sometimes called Matthew). Sandy said,"Yeah, just keep your mouth shut" and I knew right then that she didn't know Aunt Buddee ...snort snort. Aunt Buddee's two lips have never touched each other, even to chew. Ozark says Aunt Buddee has what's called a "quiverin jaw" and it "jist keeps a movin all the tahm". Michael just stood behind Aunt Buddee and shook his head in agreement. Good thing she never turned around and saw him. There we sat shakin' and drinkin' decaf tea. Up pulls KBB, Ozark and Matthew and comes in the house. The minute I saw them I knew they lived there. All of them has one leg that's 4 inches long and another one that's 3.5 feet long so they can walk across their front yard without falling down. Even the animals are built like that. I guess it's a hillbilly thing. Us Yankees had better looking legs. How did they look you say? Just like I pictured them. Ozark is about 6 foot 4 inches tall and has a long beard that hangs down to his waist and is all knotted up with grease and bacon stuck in it. Had on an old pair of overalls with only one side of the bib fastened and the other side flapping every step he took. Shakes the whole house when he walks. Talks a lot but you can't understand him. Matthew looks just all teenaged hillbilly boys...cute little thing with a grin on his face all the time. Never quits talking. Between him and Aunt Buddee and PaulaPA I couldn't get a word in edgewise so I had to just sit there the whole weekend and say nothing. KBB doesn't look a thing like you imagined. She wears overalls just like her hubby and looks just like him only her beard is just a little bit shorter and blonde. Don't you believe that bit she always says about being short either...she's taller than Ozark. None of them speak English. It's a good thing PaulPA brought Sandy with her because she does Hillbilly/English translations. Well, old Ozark, he grabs that shotgun and lines us up outside and KBB searches us to make sure we didn't steal any of their valuables while they were gone. Nobody had any on them, thank Heavens. He said, "Hew is all this har bunch, Kim?" She said, "Dohn ask mih. Ah ain't nivver seed em afore in mah loff". PaulaPA said, "Kimmie, it's us..from the Tree House...remember you inited us to come and meet Aunt Audrey this week end?" Kimmie said, "Nope, dohn member no such thin". Ozark said, "Now ya did hit agin, Kim. Yah gits ha on that thar shine an ya gits on that har puter an invots tha hole world ta come an visit. Ah'm gonna have to throw either tha puter or the shine out" and she yells, "Bah bah puter". Ozark said since we were invited we could stay as long as we didn't eat very much so we go back inside and Ozark yawns and says, "Hit's tahm fer bayhed". Sandy said, "He said it's bedtime". So we all had to go to bed. I said, "Where are we going to sleep?" and KBB said, "why on tha flour course". Sandy said on the floor. Now it's not bad enough we all had to sleep on the floor but in Happy Holler they make you sleep with animals. I had to sleep with Arnold the pig. Didn't get a wink of sleep though because somebody was snoring really loud and it wasn't me and it wasn't Arnold. I just layed there and rested my eyes then the next thing I know KBB is yelling for us to get up and eat, so we go sit down at the table. This time Ozark left his shotgun hanging on the rack so we settled down to a fine meal of biscuits with gravy that had candy bars in it, fried hog jowls, beans and grits. Then we put the plates in the floor for the dogs to lick clean and sat and chatted until Ozark says, "Wanna play some games?" We all said we did so he pulled out a handful of change and shook it and we had to take turns guessing how much money was in his hand. I won...six cents. Then he said, "Hokay, now this heh nes game, yah grabs mah feenger un yah pahls on it". We didn't need Sandy to translate this time. All the women headed out the door to the porch and Michael stayed behind to play the game...big city boy! Well, we hear this big explosion and a big thump. I said, "Aunt Buddee, I think your husband just fainted". She said, "Well then just let him rest awhile because I'm not going back in there for at least two hours". Next thing I know Ozark is out lighting a sludge pot by the porch. I said, "What's that for, Ozark". He said, "Kips them thar buuuugs way frohm heh" and started snickering. Matthew walked out the door and said, "Ohhh, see ya got tha sacrificial fahrs goin, Paw". I just knew it was gonna be me because I was the only virgin there. I lied and told him I got married to Dewey just before we left so he wouldn't know. Most hillbillies can't really tell a virgin from one who isn't. He even thought KBB was when they met. Aunt Buddee poked me in the side with her long nails and said, "Let's sneak back in the house while they're all finished and see how KBB made those biscuits. They were delicious!" so we sneaked in the door and into the kitchen. "I saw where she put everything" so she starts pulling it out and tells me to write it down...self rising flour and a big jar of shortening. I said, "That don't look like any shortening jar I ever saw before" and she opened it up and passed out on the floor. It was a big jar of vaseline. Vaseline biscuits? Them biscuits didn't taste so good now. I revived her and we had to sneak back outside before we were missed. Well, we sat there and waited a piece and we hear this yelling and hollering coming up the road. A man and two women got out of the car. Aunt Budde yelled, "Aunt Audry...Donna...Spud...be careful what you say. We weren't really invited down here this weekend", and out comes KBB and Ozark. "Ho NO, nut moh folks, Kim". Well by this time KBB was getting used to us so she tells Ozark to go sit down and shut up the rest of the day. He did...for a few minutes. Everybody started greeting everybody else and I noticed Aunt Audrey was missing. I said, "Where did Aunt Audrey go?" and somebody said they saw her walking around the corner. Well, I went around the corner and didn't see her but I saw the door to the 47 holer Brown Poopon Company portapotty swinging back and forth so I knew she went in there. I followed her and opened the door and she yells, "Help...somebody help me!" My eyes adjusted to the dark and saw this little tiny woman hanging onto the biggest hole in there with just her elbows up and her knees down showing. I said, "Hang on while I go get some help", so I ran back to the house and got Ozark, Michael and Jeff and they ran and got the tractor and a piece of Michael's rope and hooked it around her and backed the tractor up and she popped right out. Made me wonder if she'd had vaseline biscuits for breakfast too. Ozark explained to her that that biggest hole was Kim's and she was supposed to use the little one 46 holes down. She promised she would after that. She was such a little refined lady...so quiet and shy. Had to drag every word out of her mouth. We went inside where Ozark had everybody sitting on the floor watching tv. KBB had cleaned the couch the day before and it was still wet. Matthew was standing by the tv moving the coat hanger around in different directions. He says, "Now whut shows y'all wanna watch?" Donna says, "ha many chinnel ya git in, hon" and he said "1 1/2". She wanted to watch the 1/2 channel and since she was the only one who talked like them she got her way. No picture at all..nothing but snow on the screen. She said, "Ah jus luuuv watchin these winter olympics". Us city girls just eyeballed each other. I heard this noise outside so I went to see what was going on and there was Jeff and Michael hitched up in front of a plow and Ozark using Aunt Buddee's whip to make them run. I said, "What you doing, Ozark?" He said, "They done toh up mah tractah's gehs un ah gots fahn acres need to be plohd tuday". They were gone until late afternoon. Meanwhile, back at the shack, Amazing Aunt Audry decided to put on a pot of coffee so she walked over to the little table where the coffee maker is and disappears up to her waist again. KBB said, "Ah fuhgot ta tell y'all thay's a possum hole theh". We asked what a possum hole was and she said it was for possums to climb up through and they caught them to eat. We just left Aunt Audry in the hole because we knew she'd just find another one to fall in if we pulled her out. I went looking for Donna and Aunt Buddee and they were out across the road trying to catch KBB's pet chicken who kept crowing at 3 a.m., 3:15 a.m., 3:30 a.m. and waking everybody up that could sleep the night before. I heard them saying, "Here, chickie, chickie....here, chickie, chickie". I asked what they wanted the chicken for and Donna said she was going to make chicken and chocolate dumplings. It was a riot watching those two trying to catch one little old rooster. He led Aunt Buddee right into a poison ivy patch and Donna kept diving at him and missing him. Looked like she'd been drug through a pig pen before she gave up on him. By that time Ozark had the guys back and they were in the kitchen at the table playing cards...5 card stud. They had a problem though because there wasn't 5 cards in the deck and no studs there either...snort snort..so they played 3 card I Think I'm Hot Anyhow. KBB cooked supper for us. We had Poke Salad, Possum Belly Stew, BBQ'd Owl Legs and Parboiled Raccoon Pie. All of us city girls kept pretending to drop our square of toilet paper KBB gave us for napkins and we'd bend over and pitch the food to the dogs hiding under the table. Nightime came early in the mountains we we all had to go back to bed but this time there were more of us so we got layered except for Aunt Audry who was still stuck in the floor. Thank heavens, I got a top row sleep. Ozark make some of them lay down on the floor with a pet each and covered them with old throw rugs then the rest of us had to climb over them and lay down. I was exhausted so I fell asleep and woke up and heard this loud noise coming from outside so I poked Sandy and said, "Let's go see what's going on out there". We opened the door real quiet and there was Aunt Audry and PaulaP out there singing Hank Williams songs. Sandy said PaulaP only does that when she's been drinking shine so we got to them in a hurry. I said, "What's going on here?" and Aunt Aundrey said, "I found the still...you want some?" Well, me and Sandy had never had shine before so Aunt Audrey got us a big glass apiece. I don't remember what happened after that until the next morning. I guess Aunt Audrey or Paula or Sandy will have to fill you in on that. Morning came and Ozark lined us up and said to "git outn thar and dohn nivver come bahk", so Aunt Budde, Michael and I went out to get in the van. Aunt Buddee said, "Look at that, will you?" and I turned around and looked and PaulaP had the shotgun back again and was making Ozark and KBB and Lil Abner load up their personal stuff in their truck. It's a good thing she didn't know about the gas station with the apartment up over it. Off we headed back to Indianapolis with me strapped back into my recliner on top of the van. The trip back home went pretty smooth. Only had a few incidents. We stopped to eat but they wouldn't wait until we got back to Batesville so I could see that nice Norman again. We stopped in Ohio this time at a Shoney's restaurant. Well, Aunt Buddee and I both had a bunch of money in our purses and we didn't want to carry them to the breakfast bar because they were too heavy. Michael said for us to go and he'd stay and watch the purses. Aunt Buddee said for him to go and she'd watch the purses. I just wanted to eat. We sat there for twenty minutes while they argued over who would go first. They forgot the honey, sweetie, etc. The manager came over and said to eat or leave so Michael got up and left. Aunt Buddee and I stayed and ate. She said he wouldn't dare drive off and leave her there. When we got through eating, we went out and Michael was nowhere in sight so we had to start walking back home. Only walked twenty miles before he whipped up and told us to get back in and he'd drive us the rest of the way. Well, I still had to get on top though. There he takes off again only this time he's weaving back and forth....first we're in Indiana, then Ohio, then Indiana, then Ohio, then Indiana, then Ohio and I was getting dizzy. He kept going faster and faster and he ran off the road, went through a fence and ran over three Kentucky Derby winners and killed them. The owner called the state police and they searched the van and found Aunt Buddee's first batch of shine she was running. They hauled both Aunt Buddee and Michael off to jail but said I was, as usual, innocent since I wasn't in the van to start with so they let me go. I had to take a greyhoud bus back to Indy. I don't know what happened to everybody else.
T-Bird (T4Terrific)
Posts: 797
(5/21/01 6:43 am)
A akurit account of yer adventure in the mountains. For a while I coulda swore I was watchin' a re-run of the Beverly Hillbillies.
From the thistles,brambles, thorns,and the gorse of the thicket.
Michigan Mama
Posts: 1295
(5/21/01 6:44 am)
lol!
Earth Angel
Posts: 4247
(5/21/01 6:51 am)
ROTFLMAO
...I haven't laughed this much in ages!!! I believe every word you wrote
too, (((((((Punkin)))))))!
treeclimber
Posts: 693
(5/21/01 7:33 am)
Dottie, you sure do tell a good story! I'm sure this is the absolute
truth! (I gotta go check under my pillow to see what the tooth fairy
brought me.....)!Still laughing at......3 Card I Think I'm Hot Anyhow......
newbie
Posts: 1
(5/21/01 8:42 am)
ROFLMBO!!! PH, you tell the BEST stories! I just know that later on today while doing the dishes or sweeping the floors that my mind is going to wander back to a funny part of that story and I'm going to be cracking up laughing!
Glad you got to go visit and meet everyone.
Diana(Mo)
treeclimber
Posts: 7
(5/21/01 9:41 am)
Dottie,Dottie,Dottie, only you could have painted such a picture. I had a little trouble with the language, but I am sure you told it like it was. I think I have a new bestest and it is Ozark. Sounds like my kind of person. Love the way he got every body out of the house when it was time to go. No pretense with this guy.
Mac's Granny!
Posts: 2626
(5/21/01 10:08 am)
Well, here I am at last! I have been recuperating from the trip up those mountains!!!! Yep, we had a blast!!! Kimmie is just as sweet as I thought she would be and so is Ozark and their DS! Being there was just like being at home and we all had so much fun! Still wish I could have caught that rooster though!!!!!!!
Chicken and dumplings sounded soooo good! But he was a slippery little
devil!!
And Aunt Budee, being a city girl just ain't much help when it comes to
catching roosters!!!!
But when she gets here to TN, I am gonna teach her some country ways!!!!!
resident starlett
Posts: 2423
(5/21/01 10:12 am)
I believe every word!!!
treeclimber
Posts: 82
(5/21/01 10:14 am)
I've printed this out to take to the GYN appointment this afternoon..I figure I'm gonna need a good laugh after this old geezer gets done pokin and proding on me!! I can tell it's gonna be a wingdinger!!
treeclimber
Posts: 83
(5/21/01 10:15 am)
I've printed this out to take to the GYN appointment this afternoon..I figure I'm gonna need a good laugh after this old geezer gets done pokin and proding on me!! I can tell it's gonna be a wingdinger!! Geesh it's 4 pages long!!
Patty-Gram-Cakes
Posts: 659
(5/21/01 10:57 am)
Punkinhead I hope you got the bugs off your teeth after that ride atop the van.Did they give you goggles to protect your eyes?Sounds like you had a great time.I wish I would have been closer.Oh I was wondering did Voodoo man miss you?
Did you bring him some moonshine from the holler?
admin
Posts: 3439
(5/21/01 11:04 am)
clap, clap, clap, applause, applause
Dottie I just knew we could count on you to give us the real skinny on the
goings on down in that holler!
Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 342
(5/21/01 11:04 am)
Don't tell Donna this but....I forgot to tell ya'll and I promised to tell everything I knew so I'll add it as I remember it...I think Aunt Buddee is fixing to leave Michael for Jeff. I don't have no proof of this but I overheard her saying that she brought him a ring and something about it being a bunch of baloney ... guess she was talking about him not leaving Donna yet. There was a lot of this stuff going on. Me and Ozark snuck off in the middle of the night. I was bringing him home with me but we got about 50 miles North and stopped for a cup of coffee and he couldn't walk because of his one short leg and I have a bad back so I couldn't carry him. He decided maybe he'd better stay with Kimmie after all. He told me he had to go to the bathroom so he hopped out of the dining area on his one good leg and I follwed him and heard him saying, "Kimmie, hon, ah jus lef fer a cuppa cawfay an I'ma cumin rat bak...go bakka sleep, darlin".
Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 343
(5/21/01 11:12 am)
Patty, it's strange you should mention that because that's exactly what KBB wanted me to do...bring some moonshine to VooDooMan but I didn't want him drunk next door to me and Aunt Buddee wouldn't let me have the one jar that was left because she wanted to start her own Thunder Road Run back and forth. AAA and PaulP drank the rest of it and no amount of twisting either one of their arms would coax them into telling. Donna even threatened to perform her newly learned karate on them. She was out there kicking her legs and yelling "Ahhhhhheeeee" and waving her arms around and it still didn't scare them. They are two tight lipped women!!
black jelly bean gal
Posts: 934
(5/21/01 12:31 pm)
Punkinhead, every word of that must be true...no one could make up a story like that
I hope it gets put in the TH Keeper...
I have to re-read it and laugh and laugh and laugh all over again
Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 344
(5/21/01 12:47 pm)
You know it's true or I wouldn't have said it. And I didn't even mention Aunt Buddee stealing my strawberries and cantaloupe to make wine to add to her shine run, did I? Nope, I didn't tell nobody about that. I'm just waiting to see if she confesses to doing it or not.
*heart of gold*
Posts: 1669
(5/21/01 7:27 pm)
Punkinhead ~ Punkinhead ~ Punkinhead ~ you forgot a couple of things
Like Dewey waiting like a love struck puppy for you to return. I know he
was so worried that you may have found one of them good looking mountain
men to your liking and leave poor Dewey high and dry
We had a ball and it was great getting to meet everyone. I can hardly wait until I get the chance to meet more Treehouse buddies
treeclimber
Posts: 7
(5/21/01 10:04 pm)
Dottie, I have howled through this whole post and keep coming back, even printed it out for Ivan to read and he was doubled over in laughter. Your stories are THE best!!!! Oh how I wish you could get published. Hugs to ya gal.
Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 348
(5/21/01 10:28 pm)
Yeah, he was, wasn't he, Aunt Buddee. Did you see him waving his arm and signaling me to come over there? I still haven't gone. I'm afaid I'll let it slip about Norman. Besides that, you told me not to appear to be so anxious to latch onto him. He might think I'm just after his house and dogs you said.
Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 349
(5/21/01 10:30 pm)
But then again, how would you know since you were in jail? Whew!! Almost messed up there!
Sax Cymbal
Posts: 405
(5/21/01 11:47 pm)
LOL! That was toooooo funny PH! I have to print it out for DH ~ here he thought Paula & Sandy where so nice & genteel when they were here with their DH's last summer!
("See the internet crowd I *really* run with Dear?")
Paula....Sandy........what *are* we going to do with you gals?
Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 352
(5/22/01 4:06 am)
Janice, they probably were while there husbands were there but you have realize they left them at home this time so their true colors came out. Shudder ... I can't believe they didn't try homesteading your place too.
the spunkiest
Posts: 2677
(5/22/01 6:07 am)
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See Punkinhead I knew it all along....ya can't trust all those TH folks 'cause the appear to be so nice. All that Hugs and Smoochies, and Luv Ya's....ya right! It was a coverup all along!
Betcha once there gentlemen folks got a load of you I betcha had to beat them away with a broom didn't ya girl friend?
Dottie-Do-Right
Posts: 356
(5/22/01 2:10 pm)
I was sure disappointed you weren't there Spunky. I know we could have shown those hillbillies what real ladies are like if you'd come along with us. Next time no backing out.
Lurker Lover
Posts: 660
(5/22/01 6:03 pm)
I just want to say that I'm glad I had my Depends on when I read this because now I'm ready for a change.
After I read all the way through I had the lurker come and read it. He's
laughing so hard he can't get his breath and has tears rolling down his
cheeks. He wants to know when we are to pick you up at the airport.